So, time for autumn break. Of some strange reason I longing for all the red colour. I'm going to be at a perfect place to see the nature changing.
Yeas, it's confirmed, so I have to move. Just hope I get enough time to fix everything. I'm exited but still, so many things I will miss.
9/23/2011
9/21/2011
Friends, I'm sorry
So many lies, so many secrets, so much happiness, so much sadness, It's always complicated and build up wit so many different things. Never ok, always bad or good.
Much happens all the time. I never taught about how much you actually have to lie to become something. Who can you trust, who can't you trust?
I got a girl laughing in my face; "you don't have any friends!"
So many words fighter in my head. So what if I don't?! Is that a problem?! I been without friends for so many years and it will come more lonely years for my dream! It's not a problem to be alone!
But, I couldn’t say it. Other words suddenly stop me and so many flashbacks.
I.. have friends.. people who actually care about me.. sometimes some of them really put me in trouble.. but they always comes there to hold me up. People that never would do something on purpose to hurt.
I wanted to start cry. Why haven't I seen this before? I really think I'm always alone.. I always get so surprised when people reach out a helping hand.
I want to give them all something back.. but I have no idea about what..
If someone saw the girl and me fight, I think they would say she "won", doesn’t matter, when I realises/think to much at the same time my dyslectic makes me quiet. That's why I have problem to speak load in the classes.
She just wanted me to try hurt her so she cud get a laugh.. I just wanted to make sure a friend didn’t get in to really old stuff I almost myself forgot about.
I got mad, because she didn’t even listen on what I said, she just wanted me tog to get more mad. As a reflex I grab her neck and hair, something I always did on my sister when she didn’t listen to me. It’s a thing that just gives a little bit second pain to make the person listen, nothing that gives any wounds. Tho, they all got scared and taught I would slap her face.
Just because I have a different style don't I hit people.
I guess this was one of the best things that happen, I realised so much stuff that made me so happy inside. Everyone in the room cud laugh if they wanted, it didn’t matter, people can talk about this for years, it doesn’t matter.
I actually wanted to say "thank you".
We had test right after. This is the first time I never cried on a test. I couldn’t, just thought about stuff that waited on me and noticed I know much more than I expected.
After a lovly time in Akihabara with a friend I noticed a mail that made me even more happier. I'm now going to study so hard that my fingers will start to bleed. I'm so loonging while i watch some cartoon and cosplay books I got for free. Soon I will be there.
Thank you all for support and help.
Much happens all the time. I never taught about how much you actually have to lie to become something. Who can you trust, who can't you trust?
I got a girl laughing in my face; "you don't have any friends!"
So many words fighter in my head. So what if I don't?! Is that a problem?! I been without friends for so many years and it will come more lonely years for my dream! It's not a problem to be alone!
But, I couldn’t say it. Other words suddenly stop me and so many flashbacks.
I.. have friends.. people who actually care about me.. sometimes some of them really put me in trouble.. but they always comes there to hold me up. People that never would do something on purpose to hurt.
I wanted to start cry. Why haven't I seen this before? I really think I'm always alone.. I always get so surprised when people reach out a helping hand.
I want to give them all something back.. but I have no idea about what..
If someone saw the girl and me fight, I think they would say she "won", doesn’t matter, when I realises/think to much at the same time my dyslectic makes me quiet. That's why I have problem to speak load in the classes.
She just wanted me to try hurt her so she cud get a laugh.. I just wanted to make sure a friend didn’t get in to really old stuff I almost myself forgot about.
I got mad, because she didn’t even listen on what I said, she just wanted me tog to get more mad. As a reflex I grab her neck and hair, something I always did on my sister when she didn’t listen to me. It’s a thing that just gives a little bit second pain to make the person listen, nothing that gives any wounds. Tho, they all got scared and taught I would slap her face.
Just because I have a different style don't I hit people.
I guess this was one of the best things that happen, I realised so much stuff that made me so happy inside. Everyone in the room cud laugh if they wanted, it didn’t matter, people can talk about this for years, it doesn’t matter.
I actually wanted to say "thank you".
We had test right after. This is the first time I never cried on a test. I couldn’t, just thought about stuff that waited on me and noticed I know much more than I expected.
After a lovly time in Akihabara with a friend I noticed a mail that made me even more happier. I'm now going to study so hard that my fingers will start to bleed. I'm so loonging while i watch some cartoon and cosplay books I got for free. Soon I will be there.
Thank you all for support and help.
9/13/2011
Fika paus
In sweden we have like a special time for a little break with cookies and (often) a coffee. We call it "Fika". Depends on family to family there are different "rules".
Some have special cookies, and a special order you eat them in. Some even just have one cookie. Fika is also different impotent, some just have it once a week while some has it once a day. It even changes depending on how the daily life look.
For old people it's more impotent whit the same rules.
In my family you have to eat the most bread looking cookie first, then you can eat which cookie you want. Tho, are there cake, you have to eat at least 4/5 cookies before the cake. It's just because, if you leave something, your telling the one that gave you the cookies "I didn’t like it" even if your just stuffed but wants’ to try a small peace of cake. Often in my family, we make the cookies, so really impotent to not be impolite.
Home made cookies are really a "love" sign. People who actually don't have time, spend hoers to make cookies for there family or friends. That's even why some gets a bit upset when they notice the person who gave them "fika" haven't made the cookies. Tho, also most common with the old ones. The daily life makes it hard to even get a break with cookies.
To drink it's most common to have coffee, that’s why some even have start to say "coffee break". Tho "coffee break" doesn’t always include cookies. Kids often drink "Saft", a sweet drink often with flavour as blueberry, strawberry, elders, stuff you can make yourself in sweeden. I love when grandma and mom makes with elders, even my little sister has now started to make her own "saft".
So right now I sitting with my Coffee and a chocolate corner and thinking about tomorrow. The school give students a change to move to the school in Nagano with no extra cost, so tomorrow is a free school trip for the ones who wants to see the school. Nagano is a much smaller town then Tokyo. A country side of japan. I really feel that it would be good to move, it would be a calmer place to study in, and I don't want to be stuck in Tokyo. I want to study in a comic school in Tokyo later, but I want to see more then just Tokyo. I have seen Kyoto and Osaka, and I saw so much I can't see at the same way in Tokyo. I love Tokyo, but I hate to be stuck at the same place right now.
But will see tomorrow if I go, maby i change my mind when i see the school. There are so many things I will miss in Tokyo if i go. Many friends!
Some have special cookies, and a special order you eat them in. Some even just have one cookie. Fika is also different impotent, some just have it once a week while some has it once a day. It even changes depending on how the daily life look.
For old people it's more impotent whit the same rules.
In my family you have to eat the most bread looking cookie first, then you can eat which cookie you want. Tho, are there cake, you have to eat at least 4/5 cookies before the cake. It's just because, if you leave something, your telling the one that gave you the cookies "I didn’t like it" even if your just stuffed but wants’ to try a small peace of cake. Often in my family, we make the cookies, so really impotent to not be impolite.
Home made cookies are really a "love" sign. People who actually don't have time, spend hoers to make cookies for there family or friends. That's even why some gets a bit upset when they notice the person who gave them "fika" haven't made the cookies. Tho, also most common with the old ones. The daily life makes it hard to even get a break with cookies.
To drink it's most common to have coffee, that’s why some even have start to say "coffee break". Tho "coffee break" doesn’t always include cookies. Kids often drink "Saft", a sweet drink often with flavour as blueberry, strawberry, elders, stuff you can make yourself in sweeden. I love when grandma and mom makes with elders, even my little sister has now started to make her own "saft".
So right now I sitting with my Coffee and a chocolate corner and thinking about tomorrow. The school give students a change to move to the school in Nagano with no extra cost, so tomorrow is a free school trip for the ones who wants to see the school. Nagano is a much smaller town then Tokyo. A country side of japan. I really feel that it would be good to move, it would be a calmer place to study in, and I don't want to be stuck in Tokyo. I want to study in a comic school in Tokyo later, but I want to see more then just Tokyo. I have seen Kyoto and Osaka, and I saw so much I can't see at the same way in Tokyo. I love Tokyo, but I hate to be stuck at the same place right now.
But will see tomorrow if I go, maby i change my mind when i see the school. There are so many things I will miss in Tokyo if i go. Many friends!
9/12/2011
Soft day
At last, my bad mood have left me :)
But, I'm still so tired, my body haven't really want to get all power back, but some rest and it will be fine.
Today we didn’t really have school, we went to a place in shinjuku to.. erh.. check or lungs..?
actually, no idea. I didn’t get information about this day, but we were like.. hugging a machine one by one so they cud take a photo of the lungs... kinda...
Oh well, just because we where so close my home did Nathalie follow me home. For "dinner" we walk to Sweets paradise. I wanted to show her the cake bufe and the one in Shinjuku is so close my home. Just because, we decided to visit Designe fiesta in Harajuku. Love that place, and I wanted Nathalie to meet some good of my friends. We even find some shoes for Nathalie ;)
Last of all we walk back to Shinjuku for a Isakaya. Just so much talking about so much random and just stuff we had to tell each other etc..
A soft day..
But, I'm still so tired, my body haven't really want to get all power back, but some rest and it will be fine.
Today we didn’t really have school, we went to a place in shinjuku to.. erh.. check or lungs..?
actually, no idea. I didn’t get information about this day, but we were like.. hugging a machine one by one so they cud take a photo of the lungs... kinda...
Oh well, just because we where so close my home did Nathalie follow me home. For "dinner" we walk to Sweets paradise. I wanted to show her the cake bufe and the one in Shinjuku is so close my home. Just because, we decided to visit Designe fiesta in Harajuku. Love that place, and I wanted Nathalie to meet some good of my friends. We even find some shoes for Nathalie ;)
Last of all we walk back to Shinjuku for a Isakaya. Just so much talking about so much random and just stuff we had to tell each other etc..
A soft day..
9/06/2011
I love naruto!
Ok, how many think I'm talking about the anime Naruto?
No~
Even if I been at really bad mood, have I been cooking some really good dishes. I'm really bad at cooking so I get so happy when I actually do something so good that I would have no problem to take a power nap after.
The head character Naruto is actually named after a little fishcake. Even, when they do joke about the fishcake and Naruto in one of the episodes is there people that never heard about the eatable naruto.
No~
Even if I been at really bad mood, have I been cooking some really good dishes. I'm really bad at cooking so I get so happy when I actually do something so good that I would have no problem to take a power nap after.
The head character Naruto is actually named after a little fishcake. Even, when they do joke about the fishcake and Naruto in one of the episodes is there people that never heard about the eatable naruto.
Udon (thick noodle), meat, naruto.
Naruto is tasting kinda like a crabstick.
Hard time
Really been hard weeks, but it's starting to lighten up.
Sorry to make so many worry. Hopefully, everything just go back to normal. Don't really what to say, just a really hard time. People really trying to make me talk about the problem, even if I just repeat "I can't, I don't find any words".
I miss a bit to drink Turkish tea and smell the ocean wind back in sweden. Need to do something to not think about that. Maybe a photo day, just walk around on my favourite places and take photos. Akihabara, Harajuku, Shibuya..
Just have to take a easy time..
ChibiTaki (c) Me
Sorry to make so many worry. Hopefully, everything just go back to normal. Don't really what to say, just a really hard time. People really trying to make me talk about the problem, even if I just repeat "I can't, I don't find any words".
I miss a bit to drink Turkish tea and smell the ocean wind back in sweden. Need to do something to not think about that. Maybe a photo day, just walk around on my favourite places and take photos. Akihabara, Harajuku, Shibuya..
Just have to take a easy time..
ChibiTaki (c) Me
8/27/2011
Festival
Really needed that. A festival.
Bea message me about 4. I just wake up after a bad night. Weird dreams and a hurting body. Really hard to get up, but I so wanted to go to the festival. There where going to be fireworks.
Even if there where some problems to find the place did we arrive just in time and got just at the right place. Standing on a bridge. Tho, the place had a time limit. Lots of cops where there to make so many as possible get the change to stand on the bridge. Didn’t complain, got enough time to just enjoy the show.
Just lovly.
When our time on the bridge got to an end, did we attack the candy. The fireworks where still enjoyable, they reflected at the big buildings that it just look like the buildings where going to explode.
And as always, there is someone calling us "Lady Gagas".
Come on, she have green hair now.
Bea message me about 4. I just wake up after a bad night. Weird dreams and a hurting body. Really hard to get up, but I so wanted to go to the festival. There where going to be fireworks.
Even if there where some problems to find the place did we arrive just in time and got just at the right place. Standing on a bridge. Tho, the place had a time limit. Lots of cops where there to make so many as possible get the change to stand on the bridge. Didn’t complain, got enough time to just enjoy the show.
Just lovly.
When our time on the bridge got to an end, did we attack the candy. The fireworks where still enjoyable, they reflected at the big buildings that it just look like the buildings where going to explode.
And as always, there is someone calling us "Lady Gagas".
Come on, she have green hair now.
8/25/2011
Slow time
Watching the school books.. poking some important papers.. looking at the watch up side down.
I'm so school tired.
So hard to get throw, gets harder to study when's so warm outside. In the classroom we have big windows looking out on a small part of the city. Everyday a big sigh. Even when it's raining it looks more fun to run throw the streets. Want to see a forest, that would be lovely. The best time outside, is when we are forced to be inside.
I really really just want to sit down, and draw..
I'm so school tired.
So hard to get throw, gets harder to study when's so warm outside. In the classroom we have big windows looking out on a small part of the city. Everyday a big sigh. Even when it's raining it looks more fun to run throw the streets. Want to see a forest, that would be lovely. The best time outside, is when we are forced to be inside.
I really really just want to sit down, and draw..
8/23/2011
School tierd
Whaa.. it's so warm. Sleepy and tired of study without any result. I just want to sit down and draw.
I want to draw on a webb comic, but don't dare to start. That will really make me forget about the study.
I want to draw on a webb comic, but don't dare to start. That will really make me forget about the study.
Dao Dao, (c) Me
8/16/2011
Back in japan
So, I got stress problems in Sweden without first notice it. After 1 year I really believed that I didn’t need my stress medicine. I regret big time I didn’t take them with me.
I'm now back in Japan and calm. Been sleeping to 6 today and had problems to leave the bed. I woke up because someone called my name, really loud. A dream? It sounded like mom when she yelled at me to get up to school.
Just went up to get food, then some more sleep, but I really wanted to draw and write to people so,I got stuck. If i continued sleep maybe I wouldn’t sleep at the night.
Hope my energy is normal to school tomorrow.
I'm now back in Japan and calm. Been sleeping to 6 today and had problems to leave the bed. I woke up because someone called my name, really loud. A dream? It sounded like mom when she yelled at me to get up to school.
Just went up to get food, then some more sleep, but I really wanted to draw and write to people so,I got stuck. If i continued sleep maybe I wouldn’t sleep at the night.
Hope my energy is normal to school tomorrow.
8/12/2011
Soon.. back to Japan
I don't feel good.. and I'm still not sad..
I will .. just about one day.. go back to japan.
I'm so glad to go back.. but still.. that means hard work..
So I'm lazy, I rather want to stay home for 2 weeks more and just chill. I got 2 weeks vacations. Little bit mad about that. Feels like I haven't been able to think.
Yester day we went to the market in Rokneby and today I went shopping with my mom and sister. I fast relised that my new stuff is... very typical... old nordic style..
I still don't know if I love sweden or hate it.
- It's my home.
I will .. just about one day.. go back to japan.
I'm so glad to go back.. but still.. that means hard work..
So I'm lazy, I rather want to stay home for 2 weeks more and just chill. I got 2 weeks vacations. Little bit mad about that. Feels like I haven't been able to think.
Yester day we went to the market in Rokneby and today I went shopping with my mom and sister. I fast relised that my new stuff is... very typical... old nordic style..
I still don't know if I love sweden or hate it.
- It's my home.
8/08/2011
Kusuri earphone
Yeas! At last, I bought them!
Just one thing... I bought... 10...
Really cheep. Where so suspicious, took long time before I bought them. So, if I'm not getting them in a moth, then I got trick.
And if I get them, well, why not have a little contest to get one? :D
.. I had to buy 10 .. to get 1.. and I really wanted this earphones. I think they are really awesome and so.. playful :D
Yeas, maybe "pill earphone" wouldn’t be a playful thing.. but when I see pills, I think about that classic super Mario game "doctor Mario". Often starts to hum at the melody very randomly. So yeas, I love the pill designee, playful and crazy.
If I get my request I told the site I bought from, I will get black and white pill earphone, and if not, they will be gray white.
Well, now I just have to wait and see, they will end up in my home in Tokyo to, so I first have to get to my japan home.
I had to make this charachtar:D
Just one thing... I bought... 10...
Really cheep. Where so suspicious, took long time before I bought them. So, if I'm not getting them in a moth, then I got trick.
And if I get them, well, why not have a little contest to get one? :D
.. I had to buy 10 .. to get 1.. and I really wanted this earphones. I think they are really awesome and so.. playful :D
Yeas, maybe "pill earphone" wouldn’t be a playful thing.. but when I see pills, I think about that classic super Mario game "doctor Mario". Often starts to hum at the melody very randomly. So yeas, I love the pill designee, playful and crazy.
If I get my request I told the site I bought from, I will get black and white pill earphone, and if not, they will be gray white.
Well, now I just have to wait and see, they will end up in my home in Tokyo to, so I first have to get to my japan home.
I had to make this charachtar:D
Grandma, aunt and unkle
One funny languish thing~
Grandma, aunt and uncle;
In english your say that to both of your parents side, but in sweden (not sure about all the scandinavian countries) we have special words for "your dads mom","your moms mom","your moms sister" etc.. so you know witch side of the family your talking about.
So this is about my moms side.
Such a long time since I smelled new cut grass and barbeque. Lovely. Felt so weird to se them ageing, I even got to cuddle my youngest cuisine and he's cute little dog. Still, where so tired so slept a short while after dinner. A cup of tea helped me get back the energy. Not much to tell, just family time.
Grandma, aunt and uncle;
In english your say that to both of your parents side, but in sweden (not sure about all the scandinavian countries) we have special words for "your dads mom","your moms mom","your moms sister" etc.. so you know witch side of the family your talking about.
So this is about my moms side.
Such a long time since I smelled new cut grass and barbeque. Lovely. Felt so weird to se them ageing, I even got to cuddle my youngest cuisine and he's cute little dog. Still, where so tired so slept a short while after dinner. A cup of tea helped me get back the energy. Not much to tell, just family time.
8/07/2011
Non stop friday
Got so suprised and happy when Emely contacted me
Friday.
6.00 get up just to be ready for the buss in to centrum of klamar.
9.00 be at interview.
10.00 be at the optic.
11.00 eat something wit an ol pal, Emely
18.00 take a walk with my ol pal, Monika and her dog.
So early! Darn.. Hate early mornings..
First I got to a cafe I loved to be at before I went to Japan. Got a coffee and answered some question for the local newspaper. Never seen a so young reporter. Felt more like a 1 hoer date ;)
A quick look at the eyes before I eat tempura with my ol pal Emely. Got surprised that little kalmar now have yakitori, tempura .. and something that look like gyudon. Did not taste like the real at all, but it where good in a swedish version. So much to tell and talk about, but just getting harder and harder to talk about japan. I have talk about it so many times, it's starting to get a little bit boring. How I live, what's my favourite food.. etc
Those thing I thought where so special in the start.. is just the normal life now, so it's hard to find it interesting to talk about. Well, after the food, we went for some classic swedish ice cream. Went I went to japan I thought swedish ice cream where kinda boring.. but I love it now:)
A small shopping walk. Got sad to say good bye so early D:
Killing tired, relaxed for some time before I went to Monika.
I love to take small walking trips with her and her dog. Talked about memories for so long. (forgot to photo her)
Life.. odd how stuff ends in it..
8/04/2011
Old pal
Wha, a day for my self. I need that right now. Just to read my school book and be lazy with some tea. I so need to get my energy back, so I have more energy to meet people.
Yester day I went to a cafe with my old classmate, Emmelie. Just realised I forgot to photo her.
Felt so extremely nice, we went to the same place we where at when we saw each other before I went to japan.
Definitely not a person I will forget.
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