9/23/2011

Schools over

So, time for autumn break. Of some strange reason I longing for all the red colour. I'm going to be at a perfect place to see the nature changing.

Yeas, it's confirmed, so I have to move. Just hope I get enough time to fix everything. I'm exited but still, so many things I will miss.

9/21/2011

Friends, I'm sorry

So many lies, so many secrets, so much happiness, so much sadness, It's always complicated and build up wit so many different things. Never ok, always bad or good.

Much happens all the time. I never taught about how much you actually have to lie to become something. Who can you trust, who can't you trust?

I got a girl laughing in my face; "you don't have any friends!"

So many words fighter in my head. So what if I don't?! Is that a problem?! I been without friends for so many years and it will come more lonely years for my dream! It's not a problem to be alone!

But, I couldn’t say it. Other words suddenly stop me and so many flashbacks.
I.. have friends.. people who actually care about me.. sometimes some of them really put me in trouble.. but they always comes there to hold me up. People that never would do something on purpose to hurt.

I wanted to start cry. Why haven't I seen this before? I really think I'm always alone.. I always get so surprised when people reach out a helping hand.

I want to give them all something back.. but I have no idea about what..

If someone saw the girl and me fight, I think they would say she "won", doesn’t matter, when I realises/think to much at the same time my dyslectic makes me quiet. That's why I have problem to speak load in the classes.

She just wanted me to try hurt her so she cud get a laugh.. I just wanted to make sure a friend didn’t get in to really old stuff I almost myself forgot about.

I got mad, because she didn’t even listen on what I said, she just wanted me tog to get more mad. As a reflex I grab her neck and hair, something I always did on my sister when she didn’t listen to me. It’s a thing that just gives a little bit second pain to make the person listen, nothing that gives any wounds. Tho, they all got scared and taught I would slap her face.

Just because I have a different style don't I hit people.

I guess this was one of the best things that happen, I realised so much stuff that made me so happy inside. Everyone in the room cud laugh if they wanted, it didn’t matter, people can talk about this for years, it doesn’t matter.

I actually wanted to say "thank you".
We had test right after. This is the first time I never cried on a test. I couldn’t, just thought about stuff that waited on me and noticed I know much more than I expected.

After a lovly time in Akihabara with a friend I noticed a mail that made me even more happier. I'm now going to study so hard that my fingers will start to bleed. I'm so loonging while i watch some cartoon and cosplay books I got for free. Soon I will be there.

Thank you all for support and help.

9/13/2011

Fika paus

In sweden we have like a special time for a little break with cookies and (often) a coffee. We call it "Fika". Depends on family to family there are different "rules".

Some have special cookies, and a special order you eat them in. Some even just have one cookie. Fika is also different impotent, some just have it once a week while some has it once a day. It even changes depending on how the daily life look.

For old people it's more impotent whit the same rules.

In my family you have to eat the most bread looking cookie first, then you can eat which cookie you want. Tho, are there cake, you have to eat at least 4/5 cookies before the cake. It's just because, if you leave something, your telling the one that gave you the cookies "I didn’t like it" even if your just stuffed but wants’ to try a small peace of cake. Often in my family, we make the cookies, so really impotent to not be impolite.

Home made cookies are really a "love" sign. People who actually don't have time, spend hoers to make cookies for there family or friends. That's even why some gets a bit upset when they notice the person who gave them "fika" haven't made the cookies. Tho, also most common with the old ones. The daily life makes it hard to even get a break with cookies.

To drink it's most common to have coffee, that’s why some even have start to say "coffee break". Tho "coffee break" doesn’t always include cookies. Kids often drink "Saft", a sweet drink often with flavour as blueberry, strawberry, elders, stuff you can make yourself in sweeden. I love when grandma and mom makes with elders, even my little sister has now started to make her own "saft".


So right now I sitting with my Coffee and a chocolate corner and thinking about tomorrow. The school give students a change to move to the school in Nagano with no extra cost, so tomorrow is a free school trip for the ones who wants to see the school. Nagano is a much smaller town then Tokyo. A country side of japan. I really feel that it would be good to move, it would be a calmer place to study in, and I don't want to be stuck in Tokyo. I want to study in a comic school in Tokyo later, but I want to see more then just Tokyo. I have seen Kyoto and Osaka, and I saw so much I can't see at the same way in Tokyo. I love Tokyo, but I hate to be stuck at the same place right now.

But will see tomorrow if I go, maby i change my mind when i see the school. There are so many things I will miss in Tokyo if i go. Many friends!

9/12/2011

Soft day

At last, my bad mood have left me :)

But, I'm still so tired, my body haven't really want to get all power back, but some rest and it will be fine.

Today we didn’t really have school, we went to a place in shinjuku to.. erh.. check or lungs..?
actually, no idea. I didn’t get information about this day, but we were like.. hugging a machine one by one so they cud take a photo of the lungs... kinda...

Oh well, just because we where so close my home did Nathalie follow me home. For "dinner" we walk to Sweets paradise. I wanted to show her the cake bufe and the one in Shinjuku is so close my home. Just because, we decided to visit Designe fiesta in Harajuku. Love that place, and I wanted Nathalie to meet some good of my friends. We even find some shoes for Nathalie ;)

Last of all we walk back to Shinjuku for a Isakaya. Just so much talking about so much random and just stuff we had to tell each other etc..

A soft day..



9/06/2011

I love naruto!

Ok, how many think I'm talking about the anime Naruto?

No~

Even if I been at really bad mood, have I been cooking some really good dishes. I'm really bad at cooking so I get so happy when I actually do something so good that I would have no problem to take a power nap after.

The head character Naruto is actually named after a little fishcake. Even, when they do joke about the fishcake and Naruto in one of the episodes is there people that never heard about the eatable naruto.




Udon (thick noodle), meat, naruto.
Naruto is tasting kinda like a crabstick.

Hard time

Really been hard weeks, but it's starting to lighten up.

Sorry to make so many worry. Hopefully, everything just go back to normal. Don't really what to say, just a really hard time. People really trying to make me talk about the problem, even if I just repeat "I can't, I don't find any words".

I miss a bit to drink Turkish tea and smell the ocean wind back in sweden. Need to do something to not think about that. Maybe a photo day, just walk around on my favourite places and take photos. Akihabara, Harajuku, Shibuya..

Just have to take a easy time..









ChibiTaki (c) Me